Have you ever wondered what would happen if paintings and sculptures could talk? On our children’s audio guide, works of art come to life! Wander through the museum with a girl named Kate and meet fascinating characters: princes, geniuses, a lady in black, mysterious animals and many others.
The audio guide is suitable for the whole family!
Find the works with the yellow headphone symbol,
select the corresponding number,
wait a moment and you can listen to the story.
Author of texts: Eia Uus
Translator: Adam Cullen
Readers: Anna Pärt, Alden Kirss and Lithika Aiyadurai
Sound director and technical editor: Jaak Arula, Audioguide OÜ
1 Karl Voss afrer an antique master. Venus de Milo. 1858. Art Museum of Estonia
Venus: “Welcome to the Kadriorg Art Museum! I’m Venus, the goddess of love and beauty. What’s your name?”
Child’s voice: “Hi, I’m Kate.”
Venus: “Hello, Kate. I’d shake your hand or at least wave, but as you can see… I have no arms!”
Kate: “What happened to them?”
Venus: “Good question! Long, long ago on the Greek island of Milos, a boy was ploughing a field when his bull plunged into a hole in the ground! When he took a closer look, he found in that hole a marble statue identical to the one you see here.”
That statue was soon given to the king of France as a gift and stands in the Louvre Museum in Paris to this day. What you’re looking at now is an exact copy. A naval ship transported it from Rome to Estonia and Muuga Manor became my first home here.
Can you guess what the local peasant boys nicknamed an armless, half-naked stone statue of a woman?”
Kate: “I have no idea!”
Venus: “They called me Big Mary!”
Kate: (giggling) “That suits you perfectly!”
Venus: “Did you know that some copiers even created arms for me and attached them?! If you had the power to give me arms, what would they do?”
(a brief pause)
Kate: “Maybe you’d be holding something?”
Venus: “Like what? … (a brief pause) … According to one legend, I’m holding an apple…”
Kate: “Or waving hello?”
Venus: “You know, there’s actually a fun activity in this room where you can put my arms into all kinds of positions – give it a try!”
2 Monogram of Peter I (Petrus Primus) with a winged genius
Kate: “Wow, what a room! I don’t think I’ve ever been anywhere so beautiful!”
Genius: “That’s a fact! This hall has been called a baroque pearl of the North and it’s one of the finest examples of its era in Northern Europe. Balls and receptions were once held here.”
Kate: “Who said that?”
Genius: “I did!”
Kate: “‘I’ who?”
Genius: “Look up! Two golden letter Ps are crossed in a blue oval, the initials of the Russian ruler who ordered the palace to be built: Petrus Primus a.k.a. Peter I. I’m sitting right next to it. You can pick me out from the six toes on one of my feet. Come closer, don’t be shy! Come count my toes!”
Kate: “One, two, three, four, five… six!”
Genius: “Now that you’ve found me, let me introduce myself! I’m the winged genius.” (Blows a horn.) “I declare everlasting fame for this castle’s owners!”
Kate: “What’re you holding?”
Genius: “Um… a palm branch!”
Kate: “It kind of looks like parsley to me.”
Genius: “Well, alright… Here’s the thing. Our horns and palm branches are the only things in this room not made from white plaster, but rather metal, and as you know, over a long period of time, metal tends to…”
Kate: “Rust!”
Genius: “Exactly… And because of that, many years after the Italian craftsmen packed their bags and went home, Estonian blacksmiths needed to craft new palm leaves but had apparently never seen a palm in their lives… so they did the best they could.”
Kate: “Oh, how fascinating!”
Genius: “You can’t even imagine – this room could tell a thousand tales! Every statue and painting tell a story about a ruler, their life, their dreams, their victories, and their woes. For example, the rose up on the ceiling is in honour of Empress Catherine I, who was both as beautiful as a rose blossom and brave enough to defend herself and her homeland like a rose’s thorns. The bird, a swallow, symbolises hope and the promise of better times to come: winter will end, and spring will arrive.”
Kate: “The swallow is Estonia’s national bird, too!”
Genius: “It is, indeed! And if you look straight up, you’ll see Diana, the goddess of hunting, bathing with nymphs. You can pick her out by the half-moon crowning her head. No mortal was allowed to see the goddess naked, but Actaeon the hunter glimpsed her, so she punished the man by turning him into a stag. Look, antlers are growing from his head!
Oh, there are so many things I could tell you about this hall that we don’t have time for today, but if you’d like to hear how the palace and the park were founded and why this area is called Kadriorg, then press number 3. And if you’d like to take a little break from my stories, then right here, you can assemble a flower vase that matches the hall’s plaster decorations marvellously!”
(Blows the horn in farewell.)
3 Great Hall of the Kadriorg Palace. 1722–1727
Genius: “It’s no accident that Diana and Actaeon’s story is displayed in this hall. It’s an allegory for how over 300 years ago, the Russian Empire won the Great Northern War, and the Swedish king had to hand Estonia over to Russian rule. After Estonia was conquered, the Tsar decided to build a magnificent summer palace on the shore of the Baltic Sea. One with a fantastic view over the bay and Tallinn’s towers.
Kate: “But why is this place called Kadriorg?”
Genius: “In Estonian, ‘Kadri’ is the equivalent of ‘Catherine’ and ‘org’ means ‘valley’. Put them together, and you get ‘Catherine’s Valley’. Peter I named it after his wife Catherine. Her first initial is in this hall, too.”
Kate: “Hm. But the golden letter in that blue oval is E, not C for Catherine!”
Genius: “Now, pay close attention as I tell you the story behind the name! Catherine ruled Russia and in the Russian language, she was called Ekaterina. At first, this area was known by its German name Katharinethal. Over time, the longer German-language name turned into Kadriorg, which is easier to pronounce in Estonian.”
Kate: “I see!”
Genius: “But you know, Catherine was no ordinary Russian ruler, or tsarina. Back in those days, rulers only married the children of royalty, which is to say other countries’ princesses. This future tsarina, however, was a simple Livonian servant girl – an orphan who was kidnapped as a war trophy and brought to Russia, where she met the tsar, fell in love, and married him.”
Kate: “Sort of like Cinderella!”
Genius: “Yes, it’s one time that a fairy tale became true life! Peter loved Catherine dearly. He was extremely temperamental, and Catherine was the only person able to calm him, which made her very important in running state affairs. After Peter’s death, Catherine was made Russia’s ruler and tsarina.
Peter was a forward-thinking leader who wanted to move away from what was old and Russian towards what was modern and European. He therefore invited the architect Nicola Michetti to come from Italy and build his summer residence. It took ten years to construct this baroque palace!”
Kate: “Baroque? What’s that mean?”
Genius: “It’s a style, the word for which comes from Italian for ‘bizarre’ and Portuguese for ‘flawed’. The buildings constructed during that period seemed rather strange to people later on – they’re richly ornamented, tell lots of stories, and are full of surprises. By the way, which floor do you think you’re on right now? Look out the grand doors to the balcony!”
Kate: “Well, I came up a set of stairs, so I must be on the first floor. From here, I can see the palace park.”
Genius: “Now, cross the hall to the opposite set of doors, go to the windows in the next room, and surprise yourself!”
Kate: “Oh, I’m actually on the ground floor!”
Genius: “You are, indeed! You see, this building is on a slope. These windows look over the baroque palace’s flower garden, which was designed to please all the senses. There are colourful blossoms to delight the eyes almost year-round. Even the trees and hedges were chosen to keep the view vibrant for as long as possible in autumn and as early as possible in spring. Look carefully: what colours do you see there now? Back in Peter’s day, the gardeners picked out flowers that weren’t just pretty, but smelled lovely, too. The water gurgling in the fountains and canals is an added delight, just like the birdsong and the gravel that crunches beneath your feet.” (ambient background noises)
4 Jermilov after Christina Robertson. The Portrait of Grand Duchess Alexandra Nikolaevna. 1846. Art Museum of Estonia
Alexandra: “Oh, hi!”
Kate: “Hello? Who said that?”
Alexandra: “It’s me, here on the wall – the young woman with the pretty pink dress and the darling doggy named Prince at her feet! My name is Alexandra Nikolayevna. I’m the daughter of Emperor Nicholas I. The young woman in the dark blue velvet dress at the other end of the hall is my sister, Duchess Maria, who’s just about to play the piano.”
Prince: “Woof!”
Alexandra: “There’s a large formal portrait of our dear sister Olga in the museum, too. My sisters and I first came to Kadriorg in 1832 and spent the whole summer here! A military orchestra performed music in the park every Sunday. We put on our finest dresses and muslin hats, and strolled hand-in-hand through the crowd that gathered to glimpse the tsar’s children. We even explored Old Town and celebrated Maria’s 13th birthday with songs, games, and local peasants who danced for us in their beautiful, colourful folk costumes. It was a jolly good time! We enjoyed it here a lot.
Our favourite thing of all, however, was our private sea bath, as Kadriorg was a proper health spa back in those times. A long, broad boardwalk was built out into the sea and our carriage took us straight from the palace to the very end where there was enough space for the horses to turn around and a three-room swimming house complete with sofas, mirrors, chairs, and other necessities. We would take a dip in the warm sea and sip hot tea poured from the samovar afterward – and then ride right back to the palace!”
5 Angelika Kauffmann. Beauty Directed by Prudence Rejects with Scorn the Solicitations of Folly. 1781. Art Museum of Estonia
Folly (exuberantly): “It’s so fine to do whatever one fancies!”
Prudence: “Don’t listen to her, lovely Beauty in your white dress! Don’t go with her – her name is Folly. Stay and sit with me instead! I am Prudence and hear what I have to say: only with Prudence can you, Beauty, be complete. Isn’t that so?”
Kate (thinks for a moment): “Um… I’ve never really thought about it…”
Prudence: “People used to ponder and debate these topics, which is to say, philosophise, a great deal. What is beauty? What is beautiful? That, which is emotional and wild or that, which is calm and sensible?”
(A pause for thought)
Kate: “Oh, I really can’t say… But maybe you could tell me a little about the artist who painted you?”
Prudence: “Of course! Angelica Kauffman was born in Switzerland and is one of the most famous women in European art history. She lived primarily in London and Rome and her paintings tend to show delicate women instead of masculine heroes. Angelica was exceptionally talented and charming, and her paintings were so adored that they were copied onto plates, vases, and fans. Look at the big porcelain vase next to us: which painting inspired the picture on it? What differences can you find?
(A pause for thought)
People liked the stories that Angelica Kauffman’s paintings told and the thoughts and emotions they created.”
Folly (exuberantly): “Well, I still believe that life is fleeting, and one should give into temptations!”
Prudence: “Shh! I have an idea. Let’s play tic-tac-toe right here in the hall and see who wins: you, Folly, or Beauty and I!”
6 Unknown artist after Bertel Thorvaldsen. Mercurius Slayer of Argos. After 1822. Art Museum of Estonia
Mercury: “Ahoy! I’m Mercury! To the ancient Romans, I was the god of many things including travellers, shepherds, orators, poets, trickery, thieves, scales, and weights. On top of that, I delivered the gods’ messages to humans.
I feel quite at home here in the museum, with the exception of my lost toe…
Like many other statues and sculptures, I’m carved from a stone called marble. Marble is both strong and fragile: you can use it to make giant sculptures and at yet, even an accidental tap can be extremely dangerous. That’s why many old marble figures are missing fingers, toes, noses, and so forth, as well as why the Venus downstairs has no arms! Look carefully around the room. How many missing fingers, thumbs, and toes can you count?”
(a brief pause, footsteps along the floorboards)
Kate: “Oh, this one has no fingers at all…”
Mercury: “When any part of a sculpture is lost and cannot be found, it isn’t replaced. It’s a way of paying respect to the author and history. If the missing parts are ever located, they’re reattached so carefully that the repairs are nearly invisible.”
Kate: “What’s your story, Mercury?”
Mercury: “Oh, I’m pretty tough – I killed a monster named Argus! He was an extremely dangerous creature because he had a hundred eyes and only ever rested one pair at a time. Jupiter, the king of the gods, sent me to kill Argus and rescue the maiden Io, who had been turned into a white cow. I played my pan flute and managed to lull the monster to sleep – and his eyes ended up decorating the peacock’s tail! Well, there you have it! Names are curious things – in Ancient Greece, I was known as Hermes. But you know, it’s time for me to keep practicing my flute…”
(pan flute music that slowly fades)
7 Unknown artist. Portrait of Peter the Great. 18th century. Art Museum of Estonia
Peter (with a booming voice): “I am Peter I!”
Kate: “Uh-huh, yeah, hi! I could tell from across the room that you’re the most important one here.”
Peter (chuckles): “How did you guess?”
Kate: “The way you’re standing is so majestic, you’re dressed in a suit of armour, and…”
Peter: “Look closely! This painting contains many details that show I’m a ruler and military commander. On the table is a crown, an orb, and a sceptre. I’m wearing an ermine coat and a medal. The eagle beneath the table and the two-headed eagle on the sceptre symbolise that I’m Russia’s ruler, and the sea and warships mean that I founded the Empire’s naval fleet. Can you guess my nickname?”
Kate: “Hm, I really have no clue…”
Peter (laughs): “Peter the Great. It’s because I was very famous and accomplished tremendous deeds, but was also very tall – over two metres, or six-and-a-half feet! I was one of few rulers who didn’t wear a powdered curly wig as was the fashion back then, but simply my own short-cut hair. I had no time for such frivolousness – I was busy! I loved to make things and build ships, and whittled my wife a walrus-tusk chandelier with my own hands! I even helped to construct this very palace. Here’s a fun fact: whereas all the noblemen in Russia grew long beards before my rule, I banned beards entirely and only allowed men to grow moustaches!”
(A horse whinnies)
Peter: “Do you see the gorgeous woman over there on the white stallion? That’s my dearest Catherine. Whenever I went into battle, my wife rode along with me. She was a fearless, mighty woman! One time, we found ourselves in quite a tight spot – the Turks surrounded our forces, and a certain death threatened us all… but Catherine was so clever that she took all her jewellery to negotiate with the enemy and saved us from the unpleasant predicament. After my death, Catherine became Russia’s first tsarina, ruler, and commander of our forces, which is why she’s pictured here in a military uniform.”
(A young woman clears her throat.)
Peter: “Oh, excuse me! Allow me to introduce: this pretty young lady wearing a red ribbon is our daughter Elizaveta Petrovna, the future tsarina, who also visited the palace. Elizaveta, or Elizabeth, absolutely loved to organise balls and wear fine dresses, though she never wore them more than once. She later donated them to churches and monasteries, which used the fabric to make vestments.”
8 Benjamin Block. Portrait of the Prince of Saxe-Weissenfels at the age of thirteen years. 1663. Art Museum of Estonia
13-year-old boy: “Do you know what an art historian does? People say their job is often like being a detective! Take this painting of me, for example – the long-haired prince. Study me carefully. What do you reckon: how old might I be? You can find a clue in the painting…
(A pause for the child to look)
Kate: “Oh, I spot a number!”
Boy: “Good job!”
Kate: “You’re 13 years old!”
Boy: “Exactly! The artist Benjamin Block signed his name on my painting. Not much was known about him until just recently because his signature can only be found on seven paintings. But then, art historians managed to figure out when the artist was in what location and whom he painted, and as of today, nearly 600 paintings have been found that they believe were his handiwork.”
Kate: “Wow!”
Boy: “There’s a date on the painting, too: 1663. During that year, Block was working at the court of the duke of Saxe-Weissenfels and painted the whole family’s portraits. I might be Prince Adolf Johann of Saxe-Weissenfels, who was 13 at the beginning of that year, or Adolf’s younger brother August, who turned 13 at the end of the year. Big brother Adolf Johann was rebellious, an adventurer, and an explorer; little brother August was quiet, thoughtful, a daydreamer, and of poor health. What do you think, which brother might I be?”
Kate (a pause for thought): “Hmm… August! You seem more thoughtful and fragile.”
Boy (slyly): “You could be right! By the way, I was born into one of Europe’s oldest noble families and my modern relatives include King Charles III of England and King Philippe I of Belgium.”
Kate: “That’s wild!”
Boy: “Do you like to have your picture taken?”
Kate: “Hm… Sometimes I hate it when I have to stand still while somebody holds up their iPhone, saying, ‘Smile!’ and then ‘One more!’ and then ‘Wait, let me take another sideways!”
Boy: “Just imagine, though: long ago, making an image like that didn’t take a couple seconds or even a minute, but hours and hours and hours and HOURS. Try to see how long you can stand still in one place like me in this painting and count the seconds in your head!”
Kate (murmuring, barely moving her lips): “One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight…”
(fades)
9 Workshop of Bernardo Strozzi. Concert. Ca 1630–1631. Art Museum of Estonia
(Music and lively pub sounds in the background.)
Bagpipe player: “Hi and welcome to the concert! You’ve journeyed through many countries and years to arrive in Italy 400 years ago. Buona sera! That means ‘good evening’ in Italian! I’ll take a short break from playing my instrument to chat with you a bit!”
Kate: “Hello, there! It’s still very much daytime where I am!”
Bagpipe player: “Do you like music?”
Kate: “Yeah, of course!”
Bagpipe player: “The Italian artist Bernardo Strozzi also enjoyed depicting music and musicians a great deal. To paint us, he needed to observe players very carefully and figure out which hands are used to hold and play what instruments, so he also practiced drawing lots and lots of hands themselves. Try to position your own hands and fingers exactly like ours in the painting. Not so easy, hm?… Back then, one of the most famous painters was named Caravaggio and he even lent his name to an artistic technique: Caravaggesque.”
Kate: “What does that mean?”
Bagpipe player: “The masters who used the technique depicted their characters in a dark room with nothing much visible in the background, and the subjects themselves are only illuminated by a dim light. Where do you think it came from?”
Kate (thinks): “Um… a light bulb?”
Bagpipe player: “You know, there was no electricity back in our time! In the day, light only came in through the windows and when it was dark, it came from a candle or the fireplace. You can recognise Caravaggesque art by the subjects seeming to glow in the darkness, just like us. How many people can you see in this painting?”
Kate: “Three.”
Bagpipe player: “Really? Take a closer look.”
Kate: “Oh, there’s someone else behind the woman… and another person next to the man at the right edge of the painting! That makes five!”
Bagpipe player: “Correct! They’re just outside of the light. Do you know what else makes this painting interesting?”
Kate: “What’s that?”
(The music and pub ambience have softly continued throughout their conversation, but not distractingly.)
Bagpipe player: “When you look at this painting, you feel like there’s a merry concert going on in a pub somewhere, even though you’re in a museum right now. And the way I seem to stare into your eyes makes you feel like you’re right here in the noisy room with us. That’s the power of art! Cool, isn’t it?”
Kate: “Wow, it really is!”
(The music fades.)
10 Unknown artist. Double Portrait of Children Playing Music. Ca 1840. Art Museum of Estonia
Girl in the painting: “Hi! What wondrous clothes you’re wearing! Does it take you long to get dressed?”
Kate: “Um… not really. I just pull on joggers and a shirt, or a dress instead. If it’s cold out, then I wear socks and a jumper, too.”
Girl in the painting: “We certainly can’t get dressed that quickly! Putting on clothes used to be anything but easy, especially if you were from a wealthy family. Every woman had a personal maid who helped her dress, and every man had a valet because people wore lots of layers and each had so many fastenings – all sorts of ribbons, bows, clasps, and hundreds of buttons! Women and girls wore scores of underskirts that were later replaced with a crinoline, or hoops, which made the dress balloon out big and round. For a while, women also wore corsets that were pulled so tight around the waist that it was hard to breathe properly, and it was common for them to faint! That was the fashion of the era: a huge, wide skirt and a tiiiiiiiiny waist like that of an ant!”
Boy in the painting (a little whiny): “How much longer do we have to be hereeee?”
Girl in the painting: “Hush, brother. Patience.” (to Kate, pragmatically): “We’re taking part in a living painting at an historical ball. That means we dress up in old-fashioned costumes and stay as still as possible for guests while we reenact a scene and an artist paints us. People wanted to brighten up the dark season from Christmas till Shrove Tuesday, so they held lots of balls and parties. My little brother doesn’t like standing still one bit – he couldn’t stand straight in a bottle!”
Boy in the painting: “I like riding horses and practicing fencing!”
Girl in the painting: “I like music lessons, art, and dancing.”
Boy in the painting (excitedly): “Do you know what was really gross a long time ago?”
Kate: “What’s that?”
Boy in the painting: “Grown-ups used to wear these huge wigs made of real hair or animal fur, powdered them with rice flour, and almost never, ever washed them, so all kinds of bugs like lice, fleas, mites, and other little critters found it so nice and cosy that they moved in!”
Kate: “Ewwww!”
Boy in the painting: “Yeah, totally ew. People even carried around scratching sticks that they used to itch their heads without taking off their wig!”
Kate: “Washing my hair isn’t my favourite thing in the world, to be honest, but hearing that, I feel like I want to wash it tonight!”
Boy and girl in the painting (in unison): “We do, too!”
11 Mihhail Clodt von Jürgensburg. Ploughmen in the Ukraine. 1879. Art Museum of Estonia
Boy in the painting: “I’m hot!… I’m bored! I don’t feel like doing farmwork with Dad anymore! I’d rather go home to eat and play!”
Kate: “Well, why don’t you?”
Boy in the painting: “Where do you think food comes from? That’s why we farm – so we have food to eat. In the spring, you need to plough the fields, turn the soil, fertilise, seed, plant potatoes, haul water and water the fields… The work never ends. We have no shops or supermarkets. We must grow all the food we eat throughout the year ourselves. If we wish to drink milk and eat cheese, then we have to raise cows or goats, feed them, milk them, and make the cheese. If we wish to eat sausage or meat or eggs, then we’ve got to raise the chickens, cows, pigs, grow their food…
(Yells) And look – that’s the windmill where we grind grain! That turns it into flour that we use to bake bread! When it’s light out, we work so we have food to eat the rest of the year. I have lots of brothers and sisters so there are a lot of hands to help out!”
Kate: “Sorry for bothering you and good luck with your work!”
Boy in the painting: “Thanks, I’ll need it!”
Kate: “But when do kids go to school?”
Boy in the painting: “We can go a little bit some years: in winter when nothing’s growing and there’s not much else to do. If there even is a school nearby, that is… But there isn’t always. And our work still depends a lot on nature’s whims: when a year is too cool or it rains too much and the crops don’t grow, then we’re hungry most of the time. And the opposite, too: if summer is too hot and it doesn’t rain and there’s a drought, then it’ll be a hungry year… Our lives are anything but easy.”
12 Aleksei Bogolyubov. Tallinn Harbour. 1853. Art Museum of Estonia
(Rowing, rowing, maybe some grunting and straining. The oars are stowed in the boat with a clunk.)
Man in the boat (stretching): “A fine early morning to you! Do you see that splendid ship? It sailed from Kronstadt and is stopping here. My darling wifey and I dressed in our Sunday best to impress the foreigners and rowed out to sell them local fish and kvass and today’s fresh-baked bread.”
Woman in the boat: “John, what wonder of the world is that over yonder? A ship with no sails?!”
Man in the boat: “Yes, that’s what they call a steamship, or ‘steamer’ for short. Whereas ships used to depend on the strength and direction of the wind to go forward, even if there wasn’t even a breeze or it was blowing in the wrong direction, steamships are powered by steam. It really is a wonder of the world! But that vessel is carrying the honourable imperial family, and I doubt they want any of our goods.”
Woman in the boat (sighs): “Living in the Kalamaja neighbourhood, you sometimes forget how beautiful Tallinn is, especially when seen from the placid sea early in the morning – St. Olaf’s Church, Toompea and St. Mary’s Cathedral, St. Nicholas’s Church, the Town Hall tower, the Church of the Holy Spirit, the naval fortress…”
Man in the boat: “St. Olaf’s Church is so tall that lightning has struck the steeple and set it ablaze eight times, and the whole church has burned to the ground on three separate occasions, leaving nothing but stone walls…”
Woman in the boat: “But St. Olaf’s Church is rebuilt each and every time.”
Man in the boat: “We were chatting with a man over there on the beach by Pirita earlier. He was trying to capture the scene on his easel. Quite the interesting fellow!”
Woman in the boat: “He said he’s dreamed about becoming an artist since he was a little boy, but it’s seen as a shameful choice for an aristocrat, meaning someone from a very wealthy family. So, he became a sailor in the navy instead and spent several winters here in Tallinn. He grew fond of the city and made many friends here. Right now, that sailor is graduating from the art academy and painting the morning vista as his final project. I’m sure he’ll be a famous artist someday!”
Man in the boat: “What was his name again?”
Woman in the boat: “Aleksei… Aleksei.. Bo-go-lyu-bov. Bogolyubov! That’s right.”
13 Blue-and-white tiled stove with landscape motifs. Detail. 1720.
Kate: “Oh, what a nice stove!”
Stove: “Thank you!”
Kate: “You can talk!?”
Stove: “What, you haven’t met a talking stove before? Of course I can. What do you think stoves have mouths for?”
Kate: “Oh, okay! I thought they were for adding firewood…”
Stove: “Sure, I do love snacking on tasty alder and birch logs, and spruce is another of my favourites – so sweet! But you know, I’m a special stove. The thing is, I’m like a huge puzzle picture! Hidden on my tiles are many different birds and animals. Look carefully – can you find any of the creatures?”
(With some pauses to allow the listener to search.)
Kate: “Hmm… I’m looki-i-i-ing… looki-i-i-ing… a stork drinking water! … And here’s a sheep! …
Stove: “Can you find the horse?”
Kate: “Hmm… (searches) yes, I see it!
(Fanfare)
Stove: “Look up there – an angel with a trumpet!”
Kate: “Oh, there is!”
Stove: “Keep looking! You still need to find a dog, a goat, a magpie, and a grouse!” (Yawns) I’m going to close my eyes now and take a little nap. Happy hunting!”
14 Valentin Serov. Children at the Beach. 1903. Art Museum of Estonia
(The sound of digging in sand, cheerful shouts in the background)
Kate: “Hey guys, what are you up to?”
Boy in the painting: “Can’t you see? We’re building a sandcastle! You’ve now come to the most colourful room in the whole museum. Look at the paintings and list the first five colours you see!”
Kate: “Red! … Yellow! … Light green. … Light blue! … Pink!”
Boy in the painting: “You know, the style of art in this room is called impressionism. An impression is the feeling you get from something. In art, it can mean, for example, that making yellow dots with your fingertip gives the impression that the trees in the painting are covered in autumn leaves… Impressionist artists loved to experiment and have fun with colours. Whenever they painted a night sky, it was never simply black. Look carefully at the shadows in the paintings. They’re never plain black or dark grey, either. What shades of colour can you pick out?”
Kate: “It looks to me like the shadows in that painting with the autumn trees have shades of purple, blue, yellow, and even pink!”
Boy in the painting: “You’re right. Impressionists tried to convey a feeling to the observer – the way sunlight is in autumn, how warm the air is… If you look at the painting from a distance, it’s just like real autumn – all the leaves and trees. In the next painting, you can see buildings and mountains and people, but if you take a closer look, they’re all made up of dabs of colour.”
Kate: “Like a kaleidoscope!”
Boy in the painting: “Exactly! But this kaleidoscope conveys a feeling in a much truer way than a carefully and painstakingly drawn image. Now, try to guess what the weather’s like in my painting!”
Kate: “Well, you’re dressed rather warmly. I suppose it must be spring or autumn, a little cool out…?”
Boy in the painting: “No, it’s actually very hot! A long time ago, people didn’t undress much at the beach. They simply went to holiday and enjoy the fresh sea air. Swimming wasn’t an activity so much for the beach, out in plain view of everyone, but for swimming houses. Did you know that Kadriorg used to be a famous seaside resort to which people came from far and wide to rest and better their health? Cold-water procedures were done from piers that jutted out into the sea, warm-water baths were taken in little huts, and they even drank a mixture of seawater and whey to boost the immune system!”
Kate: “Ugh! I definitely don’t drink seawater!”
(The children laugh)
15 Meissen Porcelain Factory. Parrot. Produced after model from ca 1730–1740 by Joachim Kändler. Art Museum of Estonia
Guinea hen: “Coo-coo! We’re here in the cupboard!”
Parrot (whistles and clicks, then mimics): “We’re here in the cupboard!”
Hen: “Over three hundred years ago, Saxony was ruled by King Augustus II the Strong.”
Kate: “Why was he called that?”
Parrot (clicks): “Because he was outstandingly strong, of course! They say he could even break a horseshoe with his bare hands!”
Hen: “What’s more, he was very rich and very fond of porcelain.”
Parrot: “Long ago, the art of porcelain-making was only known in China.” (whistles) Whereas craftsmen elsewhere made clay pottery that was nowhere near as handsome and could easily break, the porcelain dishes made in China were gorgeous, pale white, lightweight, slim, strong, durable, colourful…”
Hen: “Augustus the Strong hired men called alchemists who were trying to create an elixir of eternal life and a philosophers’ stone that could be used to make gold… well, they tried to figure out the secret of porcelain-making, too. And one day, they did! His alchemists mixed just the right ingredients: kaolinite, quartz, and feldspar.”
Parrot: “Augustus the Strong ordered nearly 600 life-sized porcelain birds and animals to be made for his palace.”
Hen: “Like us!”
Parrot: “Like us!” (clicks)
Hen: “We don’t come from Augustus the Strong’s porcelain menagerie, though. The king didn’t want anyone else to have animals identical to those in his collection, so he ordered the artist who made them to destroy the moulds.”
Parrot: “And then he made us!” (whistles)
Hen: “First, we were put into a kiln where we were heated to an extremely high temperature – that makes porcelain clay dense, glassy, resistant to water and acid, and slightly translucent.”
Parrot: “Then, the artist painted us and put us back into the kiln, where the colours transformed! An artist must know that when porcelain is heated, then a light-grey cobalt paint will, for example, turn into…”
Kate: “What colour?”
Parrot (whistles and clicks): “Well, what do you think?”
Kate: “I don’t know!”
Parrot: “Bright blue!”
Kate (gasping in amazement): “Wow…”
16 Detail of the intarsia frieze. Part of the library interior of 1930s, created by E. Birk and R. Wunderlich furniture workshop after the design by Olev Siinmaa
Fly (buzzing and whining): “Over here! Behind the glass, on the left leg of the big silver teapot!”
Kate: “You’re a fly!”
Fly (buzzing and whining): “Nice to meet you!”
Lizard (in a strange voice that’s either very low or unusual in some other way): “And I’m a lizard, right here on the teapot’s right leg. Hi!”
Kate: “Hello, there!”
Lizard: “Did you know that Estonia’s first president Konstantin Päts also lived in this palace for a while? His office used to be right here on this level! President Päts was an old man by then and lived here alone. Sometimes, his adult son Leo would come to keep him company.”
Fly (buzzing): “There was no kitchen in this flat, by the way! A chef cooked his meals in the kitchen downstairs where the café is nowadays, and the president ate in the first-floor dining room.”
Lizard: “The president had a butler, a chef, a kitchen maid, and a housemaid. There was also a housekeeper, stove heaters, porters, and cleaners. The staff bedrooms were up in the attic.”
Fly (buzzing): “This fancy silver teapot was only used for serving coffee and tea to especially important guests. You can see Estonian coats of arms on the silver platter, by the way.”
Lizard: “This room was the library, and the bookshelves held over two thousand books! Look carefully – can you find keyholes in the lower cupboards?”
Fly (buzzing): “And don’t forget to look up, too! Can you tell what those pictures are made of?”
Kate: “It looks to me like… wood?”
Fly (buzzing): “Precisely! Different shades of wood, which takes very skilled and time-consuming craftsmanship. The technique is called intarsia. Can you recognise any familiar Tallinn landmarks?”
(slowly, allowing the listener to search as well)
Kate: “I can! Over there is the Tall Herman tower! … And that’s the Town Hall… And there’s Kadriorg Palace, of course… St. Mary’s Cathedral… Toompea Castle… St. Olaf’s Church…”
Lizard: “Now, count how many Estonian flags you can see!”
Kate: “O-o-one… two-o-o…thre-e-e…” (fades)
17 Jacob Gerritsz Cuyp. A Boy with a Goose. Ca 1650. Art Museum of Estonia
Boy with a goose: “Hi! I’m a boy with a goose! The Dutch artist who painted me, Jacob Gerritsz Cuyp [Jakob Hherrits Käüp] was such a talented master that if you look into my eyes, I stare straight back. Don’t I?”
Kate: “Yep!”
Boy: “Now, take three big steps to the right.”
(Kate’s footsteps.)
Boy: “I’m still staring straight at you!”
Kate: “You are!”
Boy: “And now, take six big steps to the left.”
(Kate’s footsteps.)
Kate: “You’re still staring straight at me!”
Boy: “Now, squat!”
Pause.
Kate: “Still right into my eyes!”
Boy: “When the artist painted me and the girl with the hen…”
(a hen clucks)
Boy: “…it was very popular for artists to hide instructive messages in paintings. Written on the slip of paper I’m holding are a few words in Old French: “Mon-oÿe: faict toût” [Mon öi fe tu], which when paired with the painting could have three different meanings…”
Kate: “Like what?”
Boy: “For instance: my goose does it all! Like that well-known fairy tale…”
Kate: “The Goose that Laid the Golden Eggs!”
Boy: “That’s the one! Another interpretation is ‘money does it all’… and that could get one’s mind working. What do you think – can money buy you anything?”
(A pause for thought.)
Kate: “Hmm… I do sometimes feel like if you have money, then you can have anything, but if you don’t, you can’t have anything!”
Boy: “Well, you can certainly buy books with money… but can it get you wisdom?”
Kate (laughing): “No, you’re the one who has to read all those wise words yourself!”
Boy: “And curiosity! Money also can’t buy you love or bring anyone back from the dead…”
Kate: “That’s true… And the third meaning?”
Boy: “The third interpretation is ‘My eye does it all.’”
Kate: “What does that mean?”
Boy: “Have you ever heard the saying ‘Seeing is believing’?”
Kate: “I think so…”
Boy: “It means you should only ever believe what you’ve seen with your own eyes! Now, let’s put our own eyes to work: did you notice that the girl with the hen and I are somewhat of a pair? Look carefully – can you find any similarities between us?”
(Pause)
Kate: “Hmm… Your paintings are the same size… in the same frames… you’re both kids… you’re both holding a bird…”
Boy: “Great! And there are even more! We’re both standing in front of the same background, we’re both turned slightly to one side and looking straight at the viewer, we’re both half-figures (meaning we’re only shown from the waist up), we’re both wearing hats… This girl is my pair – in fact, we’re a pair portrait!
18 Workshop of Pieter Brueghel II. Presentation of Gifts. UCa1630. Art Museum of Estonia
(The din of a wedding celebration.)
Bride (almost in a whisper): “These two paintings are four hundred years old and come from the Netherlands. Can you tell what is happening in them? (pause) I’m getting married! One painting shows me being accompanied to the church, and the other shows guests presenting me with gifts at my wedding feast.”
Kate: “But you’re wearing a black dress, not white!”
Bride (almost in a whisper): “Yes. A long time ago, black fabric was very fine and valuable because dying it that colour was a very expensive undertaking. Black was the most festive colour along with a white collar. Brides only started wearing white dresses just recently, around two hundred years ago.”
Kate: “Is that right!”
(The din of a wedding celebration and barking of a dog.
Bride (almost in a whisper): “Do you see the gifts I’m receiving?”
Kate: “A crib… A jug! A bowl, tongs… Coins?”
Bride (almost in a whisper): “Yes. People were actually trying to do away with the tradition of giving money as a gift and before long, it was banned in the Netherlands entirely. If you look closely, you’ll see a distinguished gentleman to my right, the village elder – he’s carefully recording how much money I receive, down to the last cent. Usually, young couples were given gifts of lighter furniture and household items: jugs, bowls, baskets, a spinning wheel, chairs, a chamber pot, or a children’s potty.”
(A dog barks)
Bride (almost in a whisper): “The dog in the painting is a symbol of loyalty.”
Kate: “But what about those floating crowns or headbands?”
Bride (almost in a whisper): “Oh, yes – those are crowns of silence. You see, there was a custom at Flemish peasant weddings where the bride wasn’t allowed to eat, drink, or speak. That’s why I’m whispering now – I shouldn’t be talking to you at all! Look, my mother-in-law is offering me food, but I’m not allowed to accept it. The crowns also protect me from misfortune, by the way.”
Kate: “You mean you have to stay silent your whole wedding?! And can’t eat or drink?!”
Bride (almost in a whisper): “That’s correct. And I’m not even allowed to smile!”
Kate: “Unbelievable! I feel like I should laugh all afternoon for you now!”
Bride (almost in a whisper): “That’s a good idea.”
(The din fades.)
19 Bartholomeus van der Helst. Lady in Black. Ca 1649. Art Museum of Estonia
Kate: “Hi, who are you?”
Lady in black: “Oh, thank you for asking! My name is Elisabeth. Many people believe that because I’m wearing a black dress with white cuffs and a white collar, I must be a maid or a widow. But actually, I’m from the Netherlands in the 17th-century and back then, it was impolite to show wealth with gold and jewellery. Instead, women displayed it with black velvet, silk, satin, expensive fabrics, and the most luxurious handmade lace. Anyone with a sharp eye can tell that the lace on my sleeve is just as expensive as a modern-day automobile!
Count the pearls on my wrist, around my neck, in my hair… (Pause)
Each one was brought up from the seabed and is worth a fortune! Even the ostrich-feather fan is a clue to my wealth and social position. You see, I come from an important family – my husband was an esteemed Dutch statesman and the mayor of Amsterdam.
This portrait was painted for my wedding. I used to have a pair, a portrait of my husband, but it’s been lost! I so long to have him next to me!
Did you know that portraiture, or the art of painting a person, is a very ancient practice?
Throughout the ages, people have wanted to capture their appearance, and artists have enjoyed depicting them. As a result, we still have portraits that were made in Ancient egypt five thousand years ago!
Before photography was invented, people were only able to capture their appearance using paintings, sketches, or sculptures. Still, portraits have never just been a person’s simple image, but convey other details like power, importance, virtuousness, goodness, beauty, wealth, fine taste, and intelligence.
Why were portraits first made and why are they still made today? Usually for memory’s sake – to remind people of their loved ones, ancestors, or others who mean something to them. I hope you’ll remember me, too!”
20 Circle of Erasmus Quellinus II. The Discovery of Achilles on Skyros. Ca 1660–1670. Art Museum of Estonia
Achilles’s mother: “I am a mother who had a son named Achilles a very long time ago. He was no ordinary boy, but the son of a king and a sea nymph – that’s me. When he was born, the goddess of fate prophesised that if he should ever go to war against Troy, he would be killed at a young age. No mother’s heart could ever bear such a thought!
So, I knew I had to do something. When Achilles was a baby, I dipped him from head to toe in the river Styx to make him immortal. And just in case, to be 100% certain that the war would never take him, I sent him to live in a king’s court on the tiny island of Skyros. That’s not all – I even had my son dress as a girl! All to ensure that no one would recognise him and he would stay away from the war for good.”
Odysseus: “I am Odysseus, one of the most famous heroes of Greek mythology and literature. We were foretold that it would be impossible for us to conquer the city of Troy and win the war without Achilles’s help, so I was sent to find him. You see, I was known far and wide for my cleverness and wisdom! I disguised myself as a travelling salesman and came to the island of Skyros to peddle my wares. Here in this painting, you can see ladies picking out items from my trader’s chest. My wares included fine cloth, beautiful jewellery, stylish vessels… but also a few good swords, shields, and spears. The artist has painted my wares masterfully! What types of materials can you see?
(Pause)
Glinting metal jugs, coldly gleaming silk satin, glittering pearls, a mirror… Stick your hand into my trader’s chest right here and try to tell what’s inside without looking! By the way, it didn’t take me very long to unmask Achilles.
Kate: But how did he give himself away?
Odysseus: Look carefully at the painting.
(Pause.)
Whereas others came to marvel at the fabrics and pearls, Achilles – still dressed as a woman – reached for the sword and showed he was a true soldier at heart. Look, there he is right in the middle wearing a blue dress and a red sash! It’s not clothes that make us who we are, but how we act! Achilles joined us to fight in the Trojan War and fought bravely! Alas, the goddess of fate was right, and he was killed.
Kate: But Achilles was dipped in the river of immortality as a baby, wasn’t he!?
Odysseus: Yes, all except for his heel, which his mother held on to. And that’s just where the fateful arrow struck…”
21 Lambert de Hondt. Journey to Noah’s Ark. Ca 1650. Art Museum of Estonia
Noah: “Do you know what sound a unicorn makes?”
Kate: “Um… unicorns don’t exist!”
Noah: “Sure, not anymore, but legend says they once did… You can find several right here in this painting! What sound do you reckon they might make?”
Kate: “Maybe they neighed like horses.”
Noah: “Or barked like zebras!”
(zebra sounds)
Kate (giggles): “That sure is funny. I didn’t know zebras sound like that!”
Noah: “My name is Noah, by the way. Have you heard the story of my ship, the ark?”
Kate: “Mm, I think so… but you can tell me again, just in case.”
Noah: “God was disappointed that humans were on such a wrong path, not caring for one another, not acting kind and good, so he decided to destroy all of creation and start again from scratch. He picked me, Noah, to build a giant ship and survive because I’d been a kind and decent man. I was to bring my family, my sons and their wives, and one pair of every bird and animal. Then, it rained for 40 days and 40 nights. Only the creatures and humans on the ark survived the flood. You can see us getting ready to board in this painting. Look carefully – what birds and animals can you find?”
(Pause)
Kate: “Cows… horses… goats… rabbits… a rooster and a hen… turkeys… peacocks… dogs… tigers… pigs… deer… parrots… penguins…”
Noah: “They were painted by the Belgian artist Lambert de Hondt almost four hundred years ago. Back then, there were no smart phones or the internet where you could look up pictures of any animal imaginable… that long ago, there weren’t even any illustrated animal books that were easy to get your hands on! Some were spotted by people on their travels and when they returned, they described the creature to someone who tried to draw it, sometimes very wrong, and thus, an incorrect representation sometimes ended up getting copied over and over again. Do you notice any part of the rhinoceros that’s a little out of place?”
Kate: “Let me check… oh, there’s a horn growing on its back!”
Noah: “And in front of the rhinoceros is a long-maned lion that doesn’t really resemble a lion at all… By the way, did you already find the unicorns in the painting?”
Kate: “Yes, they’re smack-dab in the middle!”
Noah: “But do you know why they no longer exist?”
Kate: “I have no idea. What happened to them?”
Noah: “Well, the unicorns were chatterboxes and a tad bit uppity, so in the end, I just left them behind!”
Kate: (in a somewhat mocking, not entirely serious tone): “Oh, no! How dreadful!”
22 Circle of Joos de Momper II. A Harvest (Summer). After 1620. Art Museum of Estonia
Woman in the painting: “Hello!”
Kate: “Hi! There are quite a lot of people in this painting. Which one are you?”
Woman: “Right here! I’m the woman in the white bonnet, white apron, and reddish skirt with a little dog sitting next to her! Did you know that in an art museum, you use your eyes and your vision the most? Sight is a very important sense. Let’s give something a try! Cover one eye with your hand and look around! (pause) Do you notice any difference?”
Kate: “Kind of…”
Woman: “Seeing with two eyes gives us the ability to judge distance. Hold out one hand, stick up your index finger, and try closing first one eye, then the other. (pause) Seeing things with both eyes simultaneously gives you an idea of their dimensions.
Paintings aren’t actually three-dimensional, though, but flat. Still, a skilled painter can make it seem like some things are very close and others far away; deeper within the image.
Kate: “How do they do that?”
Woman: “Objects and people that are nearer look bigger and others that are farther look smaller. It’s called ‘perspective’.”
Kate: “Oh, you’re right! You and the other people who are closer seem bigger in a way, and those further along the path, almost deeper in the painting, are smaller.”
Woman: “In addition to size, there’s one more thing that gives paintings a sense of distance. Can you tell what it is?”
Kate: “Um… colour?”
Woman: “Exactly! Things that are more distant seem bluish and colder. Closer things look more yellowish and warmer. That’s called colour perspective. My painting is part of a seasonal series. Guess what season it is here!”
Kate: “There are leaves on the trees, so it’s not winter or spring… The leaves aren’t yellow or red, so I suppose… summer?”
Woman (laughing): “Correct! The harvest is underway! As you know, grain is harvested in summer because it ripens in the warm sunlight and needs to be gathered before cold, damp autumn sets in.”
Kate: “Sure, that makes sense! It looks like the men are wearing short trousers, too. As summery as ever!”
Woman: “That’s right! I’ll give you a little assignment to end the tour: right here, you can assemble a landscape all on your own. Think about what could be in the foreground, what could be in the background, what could be farther, what could be closer…”